Awaiting my summer

It’s amazing how easily affected I am by the rain.  It has rained everyday here since I got back.  The early mornings are beautiful, but right about 10am, the storm clouds roll over Bald Mt. and dump rain. Blah.  It’s cold too.  Long time locals haven’t seen it rain this much in many years - if only it had snowed as much over the winter as it’s raining now. :-)  I was up early this morning for breakfast with Rip, and the sky was blue with fluffy white clouds.  I was in a great mood, ready for the day.  Then the clouds rolled in with cold air and I suddenly lost all motivation and wanted only to go back to bed. But one should never lie down for a nap before 11am, especially if that’s only 3 hours since one has awoken for the day. :-)

But, right as I was dozing off, I received a call from a lady (Julie) at church and we decided to have lunch.  It was a wonderful time of fellowship and beginning to share our lives with each other.  Linda from church also called and I have lunch and hiking plans with her on Friday.  Part of my prayer and goals since vacation is that I would become more connected at church, and though I have to put forth effort in that, God responded so quickly.  I didn’t initiate meeting with Julie - she approached me the first sunday morning I was back.  I am really excited about the opportunities for new relationships.  We ate lunch at a Chinese place and my ‘fortune’ cookie said, “Explore the possibilities in your new relationships.  Now is the time.”  Aptly spoken, in many ways for me right now.

This past Sunday morning at church was an absolutely refreshing and needed time of truly encountering God.  Before worship was even done, a guy in the congregation spoke out a Word he heard from God.  Without going into great detail, the words he spoke were exactly what I had been praying.  I wanted a clear answer on something and it couldn’t have been clearer.  As we continued to worship, people began sharing what God was speaking to them, and it became just me and God in there.  I’m sure others benefited from the ministry of the Holy Spirit, but as far as I was concerned, it was just me and God in there.  One thing after another, he addressed things in my life and heart, speaking out loud through other people the direct answers to prayer thoughts and discussions I was having with Him.  This time continued on for about an hour, and then church was done.  It was never interrupted for the scheduled message from the pastor, or announcements of whatever is normally done.  It’s so awesome when it’s so obvious God is speaking through his people.  And that he really does love me so much that when I asked for help, he showed up in a big way, involving other people.  No one knew of my struggles, heart condition and prayers.  But He did and he answered in no subtle way.

Having a clear word from the Lord and knowing what decisions have to be made in my life doesn’t make it easy, but I do have a peace about certain things and I know what issues He will be dealing with over the next couple months.  I’m excited for what’s to come.  This is going to be a good summer. :-)

Back in Idahome

After a month long vacation (one week in DC, and just about three in Des Moines), I am back at ‘home’ in Idaho.  I moved from my dorm in Sun Valley into a house in Ketchum.  I came across what seems to be a really good arrangement for the next few months at least.  An older gentleman (81yrs) offered free room, board and food in exchange for light housekeeping (sweeping floors, doing dishes, occasionally cooking, etc...)  I have my own room, with a real closet, a small chest of drawers and a southeast facing window looking at Mt. Baldy.  There are aspen trees right outside my window whose leaves shake and quiver so beautifully in the wind, reminding me of Colorado. I have a bathroom to myself and free reign of the house, including the gorgeous black baby grand piano in the living room.  In addition, he has a cat to snuggle with and love.

Rip’s wife is in a home 12 miles south, with Alzheimer's, and he was in need of some help and company.  The new arrangement won’t come without it’s own challenges - living with anyone always does - but I am excited for the opportunities, especially verses the dorm option. :-)  He keeps saying how he feels we will get along ‘famously’ and that I was the gal he wanted as soon as he met me back on May 1st.

My trip to DC was great - another World Race ZEO team reunion.  Amy married her man on May 9th and not only did I spend time with ZEO gals, I was also blessed to stay with Elizabeth (friend from New Orleans and WR days).  After a week there, I headed back home to Des Moines where I spent time with family, and picked up shifts at Court Ave to make some vacation money - always a plus.  I hung out with my nieces and nephew who grow so much in a short 6 months.

I tackled a project that needed to be done one day, sooner or later.  I unpacked all of the unorganized, tattered boxes of my belongings in my parent’s basement.  Then I organized everything, discarded much and repacked what was left into plastic bins, so now whenever I ‘move’ I won’t have that awful job.  Plus that storage room looks a little better now.  I dug through years of memories - letters and cards from friends and family, memorabilia from as far back as 20 years.  It was hard to decide what to keep and what wasn’t worth holding onto - especially the stuff from high school and beyond.  What I found was telling of who I was in those days - how I thought and felt and how others felt about me.  I was reminded of how many people I have influenced positively over the years.  I also became very aware of the truth that ‘This Too Shall Pass’.  Letters of encouragement from friends urging me to hold on strong through ‘this time’ whatever that time may have been, where abundant.  Funny thing is, now I can’t remember what hard times they are referring to!  Yes, all things pass, even when it feels like the end of the world in the moment.  I found volumes of journals (though mostly only halfway full) starting in elementary school all the way through the World Race in ’07.  It was a good project to fill my time at home and to look back on my life.

I feel like this summer is going to be a change of seasons, in several ways.  My move to this house with Rip opens up some opportunities for me that were harder (though not impossible) to take while living in the dorms.  I didn’t make the best of what I had over the winter in terms of spending time with Jesus.  It was really, really hard to spend quiet time, as I had a roommate in my room, with no way to separate, and the dorms are pretty depressing and cause one to fall asleep since the only place to sit is on the bed. :-(  I don’t do quiet time very well in public places and while it’s winter its hard to get out of the ‘house’ unless you go somewhere public, like a coffee shop.  So I didn’t very often.  A week after I moved here, I found a church that I immediately felt connected too, but all too often found excuses to not go except about once a month.  Some where legitimate (snowstorms on Sunday morning), but some were less than such.  Misplaced priorities, I suppose you could say.  As a result, my inner life has suffered some from a lack of intimate fellowship with the Lord and with his people.  I have been aware of this for most of the winter, and now in recognizing some of the issues and changing some of my circumstances, I intend to change the way I live for the rest of my stay here in Sun Valley.  With support and prayer I have no doubt it’s possible. 

I don’t know that I’m ready to go home to Des Moines yet.  I believe that God has provided people here to support me and challenge me, and not just at home.  I believe I can grow here.  I don’t intend on being here forever - I am still confident I will be back in Des Moines and probably settle down there.  In the meantime I am working on reaching some of my financial goals here in order to be able to buy my house in Des Moines.  I am also setting some other goals for this summer season.

I don’t know what the future holds or what it all looks like right now, but I am confident that I as more diligently pursue the heart of God, He will reveal the direction.  My time at home brought up many things for me to think and pray about.  I am thankful for His grace toward me and my sometimes wandering heart.